Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Wrestling Six Packs: Wrestling-Food Tie-Ins

Imagine getting this at a restaurant owned by New Japan
Photo via PokeWorks site
Impact Wrestling has been active for a company that people have been spelling doom for for nearly a decade now. It's released its own streaming service and has been signing up-and-coming talent. However, the most curious and hilarious thing is the introduction of Impact Pizza. I was hoping this would be a full-on, Hulk Hogan Pastamania-type deal, but they're just taking over a pizzeria in Ottawa in advance of Bound for Glory. Still, wrestling and food go together like peanut butter and jelly, because what's better than watching wrestling than eating food while watching wrestling? It gave me an idea to propose other food and wrestling tie-ins that would work well.

1. New Japan Pro Wrestling's Japanese Fusion - New Japan is the most present and accessible Japanese wrestling promotion right now through size, word-of-mouth, and presentation. Part of that buzz comes from Dave Meltzer's evangelization, but also through certain American wrestlers heading over from stints in TNA, WWE, or the indies. So because it's a fusion of Japanese and American sensibilities, it should sponsor a fusion restaurant. The menu would include sushi burritos and tonkatsu sandwiches dressed up like burgers or American fried chicken sandwiches, and it would be staffed with people knowledgeable of all cultures involved.

2. Chikara's Dessert Taqueria - Chikara's branding refers to it as lucha libre, but I'd hesitate to put it up against, say, CMLL. However, it's definitely got stylistic influences from Mexico with its own twist on things with a family friendly twist. Taquerias and dessert joints are all the rage, so with Chikara, combining both would be a no brainer, providing after-dinner options for all to enjoy. Plus, each of the employees there could wear goofy masks while on the job... or not. That might be a bit problematic.

3. Pro Wrestling Guerrilla's Fish 'n Chip Shop - Hey, PWG wants to be a BritWres promotion badly given the amount of talent it imports from PROGRESS and the like, which is not a bad thing. You try getting to see Mark Haskins and Travis Banks on the reg living in SoCal. Anyway, Los Angeles has a lot of great good joints, but how many places serve up great fish 'n chips there? That question is legitimate, because I don't know. LA probably has some good British fare, but it's more known for burgers and Mexican. The PWG branding would give this one a leg up on the competition just for name recognition.

4. EVOLVE's Soup Chef Stand - Soup is stereotypically enjoyed by old people, and EVOLVE tends to present grappling imported from the olden days of wrestling. However, when done well, both soup and #grapplefuck are really satisfying. Besides, I just want a place to go get soup, and honestly, Gabe Sapolsky has the demeanor of the guy working the counter in that Seinfeld episode whose name I won't print here because holy shit, it'd be really fuckin' problematic.

5. Revolution Pro's Vegas Style Buffet - PROGRESS might be the more notable English promotion right now, but RevPro seems to be the most gonzo in terms of booking talent and variety. It brings everyone in as a repository for matches that can literally never happen anywhere else, or at least in America right now thanks to politics. I mean, judging by the Matt Riddle vs. All of New Japan thing it has going on, it's safe to say the company is taking advantage of its location and connections. Which is to say a megabuffet like one might find at a Las Vegas casino fits its oeuvre so well.

6. NOVA Pro Presents Ben's Chili Bowl - Eh, I got no other reason to do this except NOVA Pro seems like a really cool promotion that deserves the shine that comes with latching themselves to the most famous local restaurant DC has. Besides, I'm pretty sure I'd like to get a half-smoke with Fred Yehi while "Safety First" Tim Donst makes sure any spilled chili gets cleaned up in an expedient and complete manner.