Tuesday, October 17, 2017

The Kane Malaise

Kane makes sense, but that doesn't make his addition good
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Before RAW began last night, the TLC main event was set at a nice three-on-four match that didn't seem like a handicap match because of how protected and popular a trio The Shield has been traditionally presented. Even if the foursome included Braun Strowman, it still felt like a fair fight in perception. WWE wouldn't be WWE if it didn't try to tinker with a thing that didn't need it, so the conceit of last night's RAW was totally about introducing the concept of a fifth person for the heel team and then presenting a show-wide mystery as to who that fifth guy would be. The assumption was that Curtis Axel would get put in the match to eat a fall and get put through a table or 23.

However, from Miz stating that Axel was never the fifth man to Kane's reveal at the end of the show, the endgame was clear. TLC would be a vehicle to reintroduce the Big Red Monster back into the WWE ecosystem. Even though it seemed out of leftfield, it has two things working for it. First, Roman Reigns retired the Undertaker, or at least WWE wants its audience to think he retired the Undertaker. Kane has had a checkered history with his big Brother of Destruction, but blood is thicker than water. That statement is at the foundation of The Shield's reunion, after all. Why not come back right after Mania? Well, in WWE parlance, it takes that family a long time to come for revenge. Remember how long it took Taker to come for Brock Lesnar after he broke the streak?

The second reason is it provides a good way to send off the Kane character before Glenn Jacobs presumably transitions full-time into politics. I'm not sure what his chances of winning the office of Knox County Mayor are, but his reappearance into WWE doesn't necessarily mean he's resigning himself to a loss. Putting him into a match where he has skin in the game to take one last loss before fading off into the fiery sunset, especially when WWE would be better off protecting the other seven wrestlers in the match, isn't the worst idea.

So, Kane in the match makes sense. If that's the case, then why does this sentiment...
...feel like the most valid one possible? Far beyond a reason that "It's Kane in 2017," which an insanely appropriate reason for anyone to be turned off to a match, it's WWE's creative staff showing it has few moves it feels confident in deploying. Namely, it can't present a babyface entity without needing cacophony about the odds being against them. It's a pathological need at this point, and one that continually works to the detriment of the narrative, especially when it has been the modus operandi for WWE heroes since at least the Hulk Hogan era. The Shield vs. The Miz and The Bar HOSS International would have been compelling enough. Adding Strowman to the mix, well, that's actually not offensive because Strowman rules and he has history. Kane? That's WWE dumping a cup of salt into the recipe when it only calls for a pinch, and also the salt is contaminated with sawdust and bits of broken glass.

On one hand, I've established a long time ago that WWE booking is decidedly Not For Me™, and going over the same beats again and again feels like a Sisyphean task that should be above a hobbyist writer with a wider worldview than what Vince McMahon presents on a weekly basis. On the other, The Shield was and still is one of the things that spark interest in getting invested in WWE. On one hand, the group has pulled rabbits out of hats before with substandard opponents, and Kane is also well-versed in facing them. On the other, for fuck's sake, you don't need the group to tear into five people on a pay-per-view unless you've got some great and innovative match layout, which one can be forgiven for not giving WWE the benefit of the doubt on that front. This company does one thing well on a consistent basis, and that's take your memories and play off them in the most mangled, MC Escher way possible so that you're not sure what's real anymore. In a way, that's admirable from a perverse trolling standpoint, but at some point, I'm just tired of being sold something I didn't need from a company ill-equipped to deliver it anyway.