Thursday, August 17, 2017

Learning to Live with Smackdown

lol
Photo Credit: WWE.com
This week on Smackdown I'm learning to live with:

Going Through the Motions
Natalya is challenging Naomi for the Women's Championship on Sunday, so on this episode Natalya got a win while Naomi was on guest commentary leading to after-match altercations. It's a well-worn pattern, and it was perfectly fine, but I was still a little dissatisfied. For one thing, I really missed Becky Lynch, and I kind of just wanted to watch her wrestle while she had an enjoyable little match with Natalya, so, much as I love Naomi, I resented the constant cuts to her and the focus on her. I know that's a ridiculous quibble when she's the one with a title defense coming up, but still. Also, the expected post-match shenanigans made zero sense.

After winning the match Natalya decided to beat up Lynch even further for absolutely no reason. She doesn't have anything going with Lynch right now, and it should have been obvious that Naomi, sitting right in front of her and fresh as a daisy, would jump in to interfere, which she did. And then Natalya immediately backed off, so what exactly was her goal there other than checking things off the pre-pay-per-view list? To top it off, Carmella skipped out to wave the Money in the Bank briefcase around as usual, and can this show just trust us to remember these plot points from week to week? At this point I'm hoping Carmella pulls a Corbin right away just so I don't have to constantly be hit over the head with the fact that Money in the Bank is a thing.

Whatever. The bottom line is that Smackdown's women's division has a singles match on the upcoming pay-per-view and I'm confident that Naomi and Natalya can put on a good show. I really need to focus on positive things like this.

The Briefest Possible Respite
Smackdown teased me with a re-run of the awesome Rusev/Chad Gable match we got a couple of weeks ago and then cruelly snatched it away almost as soon as it began with a double count-out. Admittedly, Rusev sending Gable sailing over the announce table looked impressively brutal.

Because he is a garbage human being who only cares about how cool he looks, Randy Orton did NOT come out to help Chad Gable but instead waited until the optimal moment to leap in from off-screen to RKO Rusev mid-diatribe. I choose to believe that Luke Harper appeared to carry Gable to safety and nurse him back to health.

Phrasing
While refusing to break eye contact, Shane McMahon earnestly told AJ Styles that if Styles puts his hands on McMahon again, “I'm going to put mine all over you.” Shane, I understand the impulse, but your untempered thirst is literally turning you orange. Dial it down.

A Free Preview
Smackdown tried to justify running the Usos against the New Day prior to SummerSlam by sending out Xavier Woods and Kofi Kingston rather than Woods and Big E, which will be the lineup come Sunday, but that doesn't change the fact that we watched the Usos beat the New Day in a non-title match right before facing them in a title match. It is true that Big E brings something different to the table, and I do really like the idea that opposing teams will have to adapt depending on which combination they face, which I don't think is something that's really been explored before, which is odd given how long New Day has been together. So, yeah, I like that idea and I also liked the match, which involved great teamwork on both sides, but I still liked things where they stood going into Sunday. There was nothing wrong with letting them simmer until then.

Also, I've been down on Daniel Bryan as general manager a lot, but his fanboying over the Usos was one of my favourite things this week. The key to management not being a condescending prick to you; just be really cool!

Fucking Racism
That's what the opening segment to Smackdown was, let's be clear. Jinder Mahal's Indian heritage was once again trotted out to get the cheapest possible response from a xenophobic crowd, and he was once again proven right when he referred to the rampant jingoism. There are so many reasons why this continues to be a problem, and this segment in particular encompassed a whole lot of shit. Let's delve into it, shall we?

It was disrespectful to the dancers and the anthem singer, who were the real pros of the night. I was massively uncomfortable on their behalf as boos rained down, but they just kept smiling and doing their thing. They were not playing to the crowd like Jinder Mahal and the Singh brothers; they were just regular entertainers being hated on for putting on a lovely cultural display.

It was irresponsible given current events, when racists have been emboldened and need very little prodding to put their hateful thoughts into action.

It was pointless given Mahal's upcoming title defense against Shinsuke Nakamura, which has nothing whatsoever to do with his Indian heritage. Nakamura barely even referenced what he had interrupted, merely mentioning that Japan was also observing a celebration that day and then saying that he was coming for Mahal's title. That was it. Apart from the frustratingly lacklustre build their SummerSlam match is getting, this is also part of what makes all the flag-waving so unnecessary. Mahal should be a heel because he cheats to win and constantly has the Singh brothers interfering on his behalf. Literally nothing about his background (aside from being from Calgary, says the Edmontonian) makes him a bad guy. It's an aspect added solely to play on the undercurrent of racism running through too much of society, and it's a cheap and nasty thing to do.

It was nonsensical just as all of the animosity toward Mahal based on his Indian background is nonsensical, first of all for the very basic reason that, apart from a period during the Cold War, the United States and India have historically been on very good terms. India is a major defense partner of the United States, for fuck's sake. Second of all, Mahal was celebrating India's Independence Day, which was roundly booed by the audience. Ah yes, because throwing off the yoke of British rule is definitely not a thing that Americans can sympathize with. Nope! No common ground there! (I realize circumstances between the two independence movements were hugely different, but you get what I'm saying) In fact, the United States was firmly on the side of Indian independence, to the annoyance of Great Britain. What I'm saying is, crack open a fucking history book, WWE, and stop feeding into the shitty, ignorant mindframe of thinking that anyone not white must be up to no good. I mean, you shouldn't think that about ANYONE, but it is particularly baffling to play it up with regard to India.

Stop fanning these flames. Stop being terrible. Stop making me feel like an asshole for watching this show.

Poor, Dumb Baron Corbin
Right, back to the wrestling part of this wrestling show. By now you probably know about Baron Corbin's failed Money in the Bank cash-in after John Cena had finished dismantling Jinder Mahal (what a great way to send your champion into his title match at your pay-per-view!). I understand some people getting worked up about the decision, but my reaction at the time was just, “Welp, that happened.” I'm not invested in Corbin at all, and much as my sympathy for Jinder Mahal has grown, I still can't say that I'm invested in him as a champion, so things could have gone down either way and it would have been fine.

Thinking about it after the fact, though, I honestly feel like this makes complete sense for Baron Corbin's character. He's an arrogant, sullen teenager in over his head. This is a dude who doesn't grasp that being a lone wolf actually means that he's really bad at being a wolf. Of course he's too busy being pleased with himself for ruining John Cena's meaningless moment to realize that he could totally be WWE Champion right now. Of course he's too focused on keeping Cena down to stay on task. After all his time claiming that this is his moment and he's better and smarter than anyone, he was too busy being smug to realize that, yeah, that WAS his moment, and then he wasn't smart enough to get past the distraction of John Cena or the opportunism of Jinder Mahal. If Smackdown decides to be half as good as it could be, this should be an evolutionary moment for Corbin. He's been humbled and he needs to step up.

I'm not holding my breath for that to happen, of course.