Friday, May 19, 2017

NXT In 60 Seconds

Photo Credit:
Drew McIntyre: AYE!
Full Sailors: AYE!
Sean Maluta: Hey, maybe I can
Maluta: But I gave you a mouse under your eye and bloodied you up a bit, certainly that warrants a bit of
DMC: headbutt, Claymore
Referee: Winner!
DMC: If Wesley Blake wants to rumble, he'll get my full undivided attention next week if he's man enough to get in the ring and fight, 

Eric Young: Roddy, let me get this straight: you're a newfound dad with a fiancee and you want to fight us?  And WE get called crazy.  Usually we don't grant requests...but see you tomorrow night, pal.

God's Production Team: video package of Hideo Itami making his debut and laying out the Ascension

God's Production Team: vidpac of Tyler Bate and Pete Dunne ahead of the former's WWEUK title defense tomorrow night

God's Production Team: stinger for Patrick Clark

God's Production Team: vidpac of Hideo laying out Prince Pretty and reclaiming HIS GTS in the process with his family in the front row

Asuka: "Earlier Today": blows off every question in a ride to Full Sail, asks "Is this interview over?" in a way to make it so, gets out of the ride
Asuka: waves at them and pumps her fist to the chant, takes selfie video with them cheering, then walks away from them and scoffs the moment they're out of earshot
Every Viewer: looks at GPT
God's Production Team: (almost but not quite hiding the blood-encrusted baseball bat behind them) What?  That horse was like that when we got here!
Coroner: (looking at God's Production Team) BRUH

Lacey Evans: not Macey Estrella anymore, still very southern
Sonya Deville: not Daria Berenato anymore, still very MMA-influenced with a completely non-MMA related finisher
Lacey: What?  But I...
Sonya: Sorry not sorry, doll.  You read what it says!  step up enzuigiri
Referee: Winner!
Sonya: smiles slightly menacingly and shadowboxes

God's Production Team: vidpac of Hideo showing up last month, slapping King Glorious the First before making him GTS

Kassius Ohno: I can't believe it took me this long to don the throwback Magic homage gear.
Andrade "Cien" Almas: I can't believe the size of the bill I rang up at the club last night.  GAH ROLLING ELBOW NO
KO1.0: Drat.
Cien: And Legitimate Japanese Businessman's Kick to the face!  Double boot choke!  Running slap!  Ahhh....great time to pose.
Ohno: slaps him
Cien: how DARE you.  Rope assisted Code Red!  Missile dropkick!
Ohno: Of course I dare.  Somersault swinging neckbreaker!  Cyclone Kick!  Moonsault!
Cien: yeahNO.  KNEES TO THE FACE!  And again!  Tornado reverse DDT should end this.
Ohno: kicks out at ONE
Cien: ...hijo de mil putas.
Ohno: Pump kick!  Rolling Elbow!
Cien: ,,,BUT MAYbe I cAN
Ohno: I'm sorry, what I meant to say was ROLLING FUCKING ELBOW.
Referee: Winner!
Ohno: It is my style, after all.

God's Production Team: vidpac of Hideo winning the #1c last week

Robert Roode: Quiet fives, an eleven is speaking!  Everyone's talking about Hideo Itami and the GTS,  Yes, I too was knocked loopy by it, but of course, it's very easy for a man to lose a fight he didn't know he was in and get laid out.  Thank goodness my custom-made 5k suit survived that unprovoked attack.  That will NEVER EVER NOT EVEN IN THE NEXT FEW MINUTES HAPPEN AGAIN, since tomorrow night I will embarrass, beat, and make an example out of your hero Itami--that guy who keeps getting hurt and comes and goes.  Look at my track record.  Look at where I've elevated NXT to.  What's his poor wife & kids going to do when daddy fails AGAIN because of how glorious I am?  What, I ask?
Hideo Itami: comes out
Roode: Hey, no!  This is that unprovoked thing I talked about ok good
Full Sailors: boo at black shirted security blocking Hideo's path on the ramp
Full Sailors: cheer as Hideo serpentines through them and takes Roode down
Hideo: Time to start serving up this NyQuil.
the Count: One!  One cannon fodder Goes To Sleep!
the Count: Two!  Two cannon fodders Go To Sleep!
the Count: oooh this one tried it though
Bobby Roode: drops Hideo from behind
Hideo: Hey, Bobby.
Roode: ...yes?
Hideo: G T S, makes the international sign language gesture for He Wants The Belt