Friday, February 10, 2017

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 177

Which one of these two gets to the main roster first?
Photo Credit: WWE.com
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers:

I was convinced that Nakamura was going to get the call-up for the Royal Rumble, but now I'm not sure who gets called up first, to be honest. Nakamura would have seemed like a no-brainer after losing the NXT World Championship and having no worlds left to conquer, but similarly, like The Revival, he has PLANZ going forward in NXT instead of shuttling up to RAW or Smackdown and doing his thing in advance of WrestleMania. What is left for him to do in NXT? I'd say "wrestle Kassius Ohno," but the Full Sail Framers seem to be cold on that idea now, which uh, I don't know why? If the main event of Takeover: Mania Weekend is Roode vs. Nakamura II, I'm going to scream. But to answer your question, I wonder if the answer will come down who debuts first on the RAW-after-Mania, or who gets shunted to what brand.

*extremely Werner Herzog voice* It's because you have a sickness of the soul.

All of the wrestling merch I've purchased has been in t-shirt form except for two things. One was an autograph of Colt Cabana on his Scotty Goldman WWE glossy, and the other was a "Chikara: Wrestling Done Right" bumper sticker that I had on my old Hyundai Elantra (which is now an accordion smushed piece of junk somewhere in auto heaven). So I don't necessarily have anything I'd be ashamed of. But yeah, that bumper sticker was pretty choice because it was minimalist and aesthetically pleasing with white writing on baby blue field. It also portrayed my love for Chikara concisely and cleanly. I miss my Elantra with the Chikara bumper sticker on it.

Photo Credit: TH

This question is difficult to answer because a lot of guys either have nondescript or aggressively bad tights. However, one answer does stand out because of how different and yet forward they are. It's not surprising that Jack Gallagher, who's doing so much to help raise the profiles of comedy, grappling, cruiserweights, and general gentlemanly behavior also has the best tights going right now.

The easy shorthand rule is that if it comes from someone associated with the White House or adjacent media sources like Breitbart or InfoWars, it's fake. Anything else, it may be fake, it may be real, or it may even be all in your head. In short, the only news to trust should come from Clickhole.

Protected user @LUtang_Secret asks:
top 5 ROH-exclusive talents (i.e not NJPW or CMLL) you want to see in matches.
Well, Ring of Honor has done such a good job hemorrhaging talent that all I'd have to do to be able to see them without trying to navigate the promotion's arcane and archaic distribution or if its weekly television show wasn't buried on some obscure network that my DVR doesn't seem to want to keep recording. ANYWAY, the top five current ROH, non-NJPW or CMLL wrestlers I'd like to see in matches, and the matches I want to see them in are...

  1. DALTON CASTLE - Castle remains the most fun wrestler outside of WWE, so obviously I want to see his virtuoso showman act in as many marquee matches as possible. Put him against Jack Gallagher for maximum fun.
  2. LIO RUSH - I've seen him live a few times now, and he's nothing short of mind-blowing. While high-flyers come a dime a dozen it seems, Rush is one of the better practitioners of the art out there. Let me see him throw himself at Ricochet, the real test for any highspot man.
  3. BOBBY FISH - Fish doesn't have a lot of time left in the biz, and it stinks that he's been left behind while Kyle O'Reilly either heads to WWE or is held hostage by ROH in an attempt to block such a move, but if he ever does get free, I'd love to see him go BRO TO BRO with Matt Riddle.
  4. MARK BRISCOE - Chicken is probably never leaving ROH unless the company folds, but he'd be such a hoot taking on Frightmare in a midcard showcase match, don't you think?
  5. CAPRICE COLEMAN - I don't know how much on lockdown Coleman is with ROH right now, but he's been in the business forever and still has so many people he should be wrestling. I'd love to see him go up against Brian Cage just for the antics.


Protected user @adamsgroove asks:
are you and HORB what's-his-name the same person?
Well, it's time to make a confession, everyone. Horb Flerbminber and I DO have a connection. He is my father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.

Yes, of course, I am dying. We, as humans, are all dying. No one will live forever, not even the component pieces of our bodies. In about 10100 years, everything that comprised this Universe will more than likely stop moving. Time will end, and the dark stasis will be frozen, literally. But if your question is "am I dying soon?" then no, at least I hope not.

Protected user @MUSTACHIOSAURUS asks:
is it a tumor?
No, but if it was, I'd name it Amani.
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